Random Thoughts At Days End

Make a cup of tea, grab a cookie, get comfortable. Reading this may take awhile.

I attended Riana's baby shower yesterday. She was wearing this low cut black dress, that highlighted sexy breasts. I am amiss in not having a photo to share with you. She was beautiful. Is beautiful. Sitting here, thinking of her, I contrast that image with one of my own. Maternity wardrobe was baggy legged pants with stretch panels that made butts look bulky. Shirts were baby doll style with fluffy sleeves. We all looked like Weebles, on legs. It was all about yards of material, making us non-descript blobs, adding the appearance of even more weight than we were actually carrying. Today, maternity wear is finally being made by women, for women, to help us show off the beauty of an incredible time in our lives. I felt very sexy during each of my pregnancies. I liked the changes in my body, the way the shift in hormones made me feel during the different periods of the term. Then I had to dress to go somewhere and felt like I had put on a gunny sack. No sexy black dress. Ugly, ugly clothing. We've come a long way, baby.

I hadn't seen Kylie in such a long time. Gracie is what, almost 5? She is going to be a beauty, just like her mom, with those dark eyes. And Grant is going to be a knock-out with the ladies. What a charmer. He reached out for Genevieve's hand and when she took his, he layed his head down on his arm as if to say "now my life is complete". He already is capturing our hearts. I am excited to see what Brody Reynolds will look like. What traits will he take on from his parents? Like seeing Cash, how much he is like his dad, but in one change of expression, bam, he is Sara...

Standing in that room yesterday with mothers, looking at our daughters, and their children (born and unborn), I was filled with such love and admiration for our species.

Our Species. I say that because Butch and I attended Defending The Caveman in Carson last night. His story (delivered quite humorously)is that the caveman was the hunter, providing food and safety for his woman. The woman, the gatherer, discovers women bleed in cycle with each other according to the moon, and the moon cycle affects the growth of plants, she makes a calendar, she can predict the seasons. She is worthy of being protected, honored. She gives birth to new life. She is mystical.

For all that has changed, it all remains the same. Simply put, men are single visioned. They have their goal, to hunt, protect. And we are multi-tasking, gathering information, aware of our surroundings, the colors, the textures of the seasons. Providing new life. Not only by giving birth to babies, but by giving birth to ideas, words.

What has changed? According to the comedian, the honor we give to each other. We changed from honoring each species, and their special gifts, to trying to change each species, make men gatherers, women hunters --- it's like making cats take baths, they may tolerate it, but that doesn't mean they like it.

Genevieve came up with a "Parent Game" for Riana's shower. She asked Calvin questions about this pregnancy and videoed his answers. At the shower, Riana is asked the same questions and we viewed Calvin's responses. It was funny to watch what unfolded. Riana's friends and family all thought they knew what Calvin & Riana's answer would be. They shouted them out. They shared little insights they had gathered from being around the couple, coupled no doubt by their own thoughts and feelings. Then the couples answers came. Yes, sometimes they were what everyone had shouted out, but other answers were more insightful. What appeared to me were two people who love and honor each other. Two totally different species who came together for love, creating new life.

Someone, somewhere asked, is Calvin ready to settle down and be a dad. Woa! Who ever thought being a father required "settling down"? And who is ever READY for anything we undertake? Life is a journey. A big adventure, kind of like going to the amusement park. Some rides allow us to sit back and enjoy the view while others leave us vomiting with our heads spinning. But we all seem to agree on what fun we had.... I, for one, do not wish Calvin to settle anything. I love his uniqueness, his passion for life, his quirky humor. Why shouldn't he be in the backyard with his son, setting off G.I. Joe's with firecrackers??? Atleast he could offer some safety tips, from experience. Children keep us young, in heart and spirit. Seriously, when was the last time you played "velcro hug" with your women friends? How glorious to see what Brody will become with his chosen parents.

We joke about, complain and criticize our spouses to our family & friends, but when the truth is told, we honor them. That was so clear listening to Calvin & Riana. They know each others strength. They accept their own weaknesses. You could see the love they have for each other and the excitement they have for this new stage in their lives.

My thoughts go to this: If a woman recognized her spouse for who he "is" and stopped trying to make him more like "her", could she honor him daily, face to face?
Would it matter?
Ah, the revelations of a caveman!

I rather like the idea of the men being cavemen and us women being gatherers. And with the use of current technology, this blog, matka-mae-anya-maji, allows us to share the gathered information, knowledge, wisdom, pain, confusion, no matter how close or far-away we are physically. Spiritually we are connected here. Always have been.

So, when your caveman comes home today, honor him for completing his daily goal. If it seems like he is not honoring you, remember, you are the reason he set that goal in the first place.

Yours in love and respect, gathering up pom-poms, putting em in my basket.....
Charmaine