Hello Everyone,
The 29th birthday was amazing for me, but not in a traditional sense. I had to be hospitalized. Before you start to panic, let me tell you that this has been a blessing in disguise. (Plus, I'm on the mend and no serious wound was received.)
I was up for one week without sleep and had to be in the hospital for one week as a result. I was not taking any illicit drug, no excess caffeine. It was pure Genevieve brand get up and go, go, go.
I'm sure you've been around someone who is loopy after going one night without sleep. (Anyone with children can relate to that, or with studying for finals, partying with friends, etc.) Well, take that feeling, multiply it by one cup of coffee each day and Genevieve's own brand of positivity and good vibes and there you are. Oh and then multiply that by 7 days. Yeah, it was a wild ride.
I'm home now and loving the fact that this event has brought me closer to my family and Kyle and his family. I realized that I was stuffing away fears, feelings and emotions. (Obviously, it's really stressful to be unmarried, shagging in the backyard while still maintaining a relationship with the preacher father and school teacher mother... Doesn't that seem like drama in the making?? Well, it was.)
Anyway, that's what I did for my birthday. Hospitalized. And thank goodness I did. I'm even more open with my feelings and emotions. So the next time we talk, it's going to be with a "new" Genevieve. She might seem different and I hope it's in a good way. I've learned so much about myself and what I want and don't want. I'm not going to get married and I'm not going to have kids. Of course, that's my answer today. And tomorrow I might change my mind. ;) And that is perfectly acceptable. I'm finally at peace with who I am and, oh my, does it feel good!!!
Love you all,
Genevieve
PS - Part of my recovery program is no cell phone for at least a week. So if you want to call me, sorry, you can't! ;) But you can email me or message me online.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Sunday, October 5, 2008
We should be so lucky
A few weeks ago, heck, probably a month ago at least, Cash was having a particularly tough time going to bed. He had a cold, he was teething, he had anxiety, what else could the poor child do than cry in his crib? I hate to hear him scream so I did what I'm not pediatrically advised to do, I picked him up and took him out for a walk at 7:30pm. Probably should have allowed him to cry it out because not getting to bed until 9pm really threw us off schedule for the rest of the week but I'm glad we did what we did. It must have been two months ago since I just remembered it was still light out at 7:30! Anyhoooo... We went for a walk on our usual trail, the Papermill Trail, aptly named for it's prior use as a logging road to the papermill. The trail is 5 miles start to finish. It's a really nice walk through the trees and farmed fields. Since it was so late we decided to park at the top of the trail and forgo the creepy walk through the trees in the dark. I was, after all, raised by parents who instilled the fear of "axe murderers who will throw you dead in a ditch somewhere" into my psyche. We turned onto Upland road and I was greeted by this:
Sunflowers as far as we could see. Unimaginably beautiful. We get out of the car and I am pulling the stroller out of the trunk when I hear, "That's quite a contraption you've got there." I turn around and see an old man in a neon orange hat holding an old 35mm camera. He stares at me for a moment, half squinting into the sun and the briefest shine in his eye tells me that he is lonely. He's shuffling his feet in the dirt,turning his head from the flowers back to me putting Cash into the stroller; he walks a few feet closer toward us but still on the other side of the road. I can tell he wants to talk but he doesn't want to feel like he's burdening someone so he shuffles real slow in case I should turn and walk up the trail and forget about him. Cash is buckled and looking quite pleased with the steering wheel on his new stroller so we cross the road and meet our new friend. 
"Sunflowers!" he says to us. "Planted 'em for a lady. Her memorial. Whole field of 'em." He had a large hearing aid in his ear but I'm sure he didn't have it on because every question I asked was unanswered so I was left to smiling, nodding, and creasing my brow to convey what I thought. I learned that he was from one of the M states. Michigan, Minnesota one of those. He moved here when his wife died 3 weeks shy of their 50th anniversary. He lives behind his son's house where he does everything for himself except his laundry; son's wife does that for him. "I do it all on my own you know!" he tells me. He had planned a joint anniversary party for his wife and some friends of theirs who were also celebrating this rare milestone but his wife got sick and left him here alone. I think he said that was ten years ago. He's 87. His son wanted him to wear reflective clothing when he walks on the road but he feels silly so they settled for the neon hat. He still feels silly. He collects old beer cans with naked ladies on them and carries around pictures of his collection in his pocket. He also collects old milling stones. Stones bigger than he is tall. His son drives him all around looking for these stones. He has pictures of them too. But his true passion is squirrels and "chippies". He reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out an envelope that was probably fabricated before I was cutting teeth from the weariness of the creases. The envelope contains pictures of squirrels on a ladder, chippies in a boot, squirrels next to pumpkins, on snowmen, in a squirrel house, atop an L.L. Bean catalog. Squirrels photographed in every way you can imagine. He builds squirrel houses connected by tall ladders. He decorates the ladders, houses, platforms for each season and lures the squirrels with peanuts so he can photograph them. He looks at a particular picture of a squirrel next to two pumpkins, "You take this one home with you. You'll like it." We talked for about 30 minutes about the houses being built on the hill, babies, his family, squirrels (of course), the weather, everything you can imagine. He wants to know where I'm headed and I tell him I walk the trail every day. He offers a "really slow escort" and I tell him I'd love to walk with him. He was so chivalrous although I know if we were to be attacked by a creepy-farm-beastie it would be me protecting him instead of he protecting me! He did carry an awfully heavy stick though. He walked with Cash and I for about a half mile before he turned left to head home. "Thanks for walking with me." he said, "I'll see you 'round again soon." He shuffled back toward his house as the sun was setting on those beautiful flowers. We only walked a mile that night because the sun was quickly turning out our light. When we got back to the field I crossed the street and got these last pictures:
That night when I got home I got a call from Travis in Texas. I told him all about the man I met and the sunflowers. I couldn't stop talking about the squirrels and stones, the flowers and the sunset, the old man in his neon hat and the lucky woman who was given a few acres of sunflowers that the world would never forget. It was one of those moments that stop time. Like the moment snow begins to fall; rain that shakes the house with it's power; Cash's uncontrollable laughter; late night fires in the backyard; blowing bubbles with Cash and hearing him giggle every time they pop on his skin; snow cone syrup dripping down your chin in the summer; getting stuck in the mud in a big truck; swimming in the ocean; decorating the Christmas tree; an unexpected package on your doorstep. Those are all moments that make me remember how short and perfect life is. It's short but it's wide and I'm trying every day to not take things for granted no matter how small they seem. I think about that old man every few days. I didn't even get his name. The things he must have seen in his life and the hardships he most certainly endured have led him to a place where he can sit on his porch and watch his squirrels all day and be perfectly happy. I'm sure he stuck with me so strongly because I can picture Nana sitting in her sun room watching her deer and taking hundreds of pictures of her cats. I wish I had loved her cat pictures as much as she did because that's what was important to her. At the time I rolled my eyes and thought, "MORE cat pictures?!" Life is about the big things that seem so little not the little things that seem so big. Love who you are and who loves you. It's all we have.
Whoever loved Anne Botma loved her completely and adoringly. Every morning sunflowers lift their sleepy heads toward the east to welcome the sun on her field and every night they bow their heads to her in rememberance. We should all be so lucky...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Daily Om's Thought for the Day
Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal. Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive. Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.
http://www.dailyom.com/
Monday, September 15, 2008
I love you, dear one. I am always with you. No matter what, I will never stop loving you. No matter what, I will never leave you.
You are loveable just exactly as you are, in all your unfinished imperfectness.
Even though you may not feel it to be so right now, you are a growing radiant being doing the very best you can in this very moment.
It’s good to let yourself feel all your feelings, they will heal you.
It’s good to let yourself pay attention to what your feelings and your body are telling you...even and especially when they are contradicting your thoughts…your feelings and your body are always telling you your truth.
It’s good to let yourself go slowly.
It’s good to let yourself say, "no, this doesn’t feel right for me," …even when you can’t explain why.
It’s good to let yourself be really gentle with yourself.
It’s good to let yourself do what you need to do to take the very best care of yourself that you can…even when others may be disappointed with your choices.
It’s good to let yourself be kind and soft with yourself when you feel afraid…even when there "really " isn’t anything to be afraid of.
It’s good to let yourself cry when you feel sad or frustrated.
It’s good let yourself stomp and fuss when you feel angry or put-upon.
It’s good to let yourself stop and rest when you feel tired or confused.
It’s good to let yourself curl up under the covers when you feel afraid or overwhelmed.
It’s good to let yourself know and ask for what you want…even when you think you may not get it after all.
It’s good to let yourself be exactly how and where you are…even when you aren’t sure anyone else will like that!
It’s good to let yourself just be!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Part 2
Part 2…………..Sorry, this became way to long for a comment screen……..In answer to your post Sara…..
This issue becomes a heavy one whether you intend it to or not. Over the course of the last 100 years, the only ones that I can ever seem to remember my history on, women have been placed into certain roles that society has built for them. Do I think that Sarah Plain was a good choice for him, yep, probably. It was exactly what he needed to stir up enough controversy to get the voice of comments of the country moving in his direction. Good or bad, it is moving. Do I think she is the right choice for our country…no. But that is my opinion. I really do not care if she moved into the White House with 10 children in tow. I think that there would be so much assistance handed to her that her children would probably not only be just fine, but thrive. What I do care about is her politics, her stand on the environment, her views on government subsidies etc etc etc. And on those I just can’t agree. Do I think she is a hell of a speaker that appears to have been through at least fifteen Rapport sessions, you betcha! She can rally a crowd, of that there is no doubt.
So onto the Motherhood debate. There is no right or wrong when it comes to staying home with your young child. What I hoped that our generation did was gave women the right to choice, in many ways. As each tree is a different seed, so are we, and how we choose to live our lives, and raise our children is ours alone. That is what makes our “tribes” so important. Having a stand-by network of family and friends so that if we do choose to work outside the home, we hopefully have some assistance. We are the nurturers, and as such , we are the role models of peace in most homes.
I had an interesting conversation with Marlea today. We were talking about the new store and how it was going to have my head spinning down Williams Ave. before we got it all up and running. I asked her if she was ready to buy The Flower Tree from me in a few years……….and this is how the summary of the conversation went……
She was happy that we are opening the new store, and she truly feels that we can handle both with no problem because with eight years under our belts we are pretty comfortable with how it’s done. Now here is the kicker that made my heart sing, a little. She said that no, she wouldn’t be ready to buy any business or try anything different until Maddy was out of school, because the “freedom and flexibility” that she has had during her entire years of school has been a huge help and comfort to her. It was at that moment that I told her that I would make it my goal to keep The Flower Tree for at least five more years, until Maddy was out of High School and then we would see. Of course, she told me not think that way, just for her. But I realized I wasn’t thinking that way just for her, but for me too. For she is part of my tribe.
So I said all that, to say this………..we have an obligation to each other to encourage the goals, dreams, aspirations and wishes of those closest to us. Someone encouraged Sarah Palin to run for the 2nd highest office in the world …….and more power to her if she thinks she is up to the task. She just isn’t my choice. But I still respect her right to try. I feel it is our obligation to greet a “stay at home” Mom in a store with an encouragement rather than a question such as you got Sara, and to make it a point to also encourage the Mom that is working outside the home……..it is a tough choice EITHER WAY…..you always….always wonder if you made the right one. It does not matter if your child is 1 or 30 or 50 - you always wonder. I love you all, Su.
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself 'Will I live to be 80?'
I recently chose a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly
well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'
'No,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating,
fishing or relaxing on the beach?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'
Then he looked at me and asked, 'Then why do you give a shit?'
Monday, September 8, 2008
Ohh Baby...
I was in an interesting conversation yesterday with another stay at home mom. She's a good friend of mine so we don't mind sharing political views among other personal decisions. Of course both of us had something to say about Sarah Palin. It was unfortunate that neither of us had anything good to say because I have always tried to find ONE nice thing to say. I couldn't even compliment Sarah on her hair... I'm sure she's a very nice woman. I imagine I would warmly welcome her into my social circle should she desire to knit, tie dye, bake, read, and hike as we SAHM up here in Maine do. The conversation turned toward the opinions many people have over stay-at-home-moms. Both of us have experienced various responses when people meet us and ask what we do. Usually I reply, "I stay at home with my son, Cash." Almost every response to that statement is, "Ohhh. What did you used to do?" as though it must have been more important than what I am doing now. My friend and I have both come to the conclusion that while being a stay at home mom was once the norm it is now looked at as something you do for one of three reasons: a) you are spoiled and your husband must have a REALLY cush job, b) you have no skills so you stay at home and get pregnant to fill your day, c) you're "one of those" femmes that chooses to stay at home to stick it to the man because it's your right to choose. Obviously none of those reasons were factored into my decision to stay with Cash. It was just something that was more important to me than anything else so I made it happen. Had I been lucky enough to live near family who could take Cash a few days a week I would absolutely been back to work by now. Since that's not an option and I refuse to let strangers teach Cash their ideas during his most impressionable years I choose to stay at home. It works for us. It's as simple as that.
While this conversation was turning we noticed that every generation tends to do the opposite of the last. My great grandmothers fought for equality in the workplace and wanted to work alongside the men; my grandmother's generation typically wanted to stay at home and raise a family; my mother's generation fought for equality in the workplace and finally broke through the glass ceiling that was the early 80's yet also pulled together the family like none other; my generation looks to stay at home and make the raising of children the top priority (this is simply the observation we came to, you're entitled to your opinion). So we have a flip flop of generations and ALSO conservatives and liberals.
Now I can get back to Sarah Palin. The arguement recently from the conservatives who are usually the largest stay-at-home-motherhood advocates are saying that Sarah Palin's role as a mother in no way hampers her ability to lead the country. My liberal friends who are usually the group standing behind a woman wanting to "do it all" in the home and workplace are shouting war cries about Palin's ability to care for her special needs child as well as a child carrying a child (Hello! Someone should have had the seat-belt talk in the Palin household!) while she steps up to help govern the best nation in the world. Anyone else confused here?
My question to all of us here for a light debate is this:
Where do we draw the line with the importance of family and duty to our work? Is she less suited for the presidency because she has a large family that will obviously need her?
More power to her for even trying. I couldn't even make an appointment to have my hair done when Cash was 4 months old; the Vice-Presidency would have been seriously out of the question!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Nap Time
I had a wonderful conversation with my beautiful daughter on the way to the store today. We were just chatting about this or that, nothing of any great worldly significance, and she happened to mention that Cash has decided that he doesn't need his second nap anymore. I had a flashback, which seems to occur more often as we count the months of Cash's fun time in the world. I could picture Sara standing up in her crib in the glass walled Florida room that she called her own, with a look on her face that told me "I don't REALLY!!! think I need a nap anymore" She must have been about 14 or 16 months old at the time. The problem is, I just can't remember how we solved the "nap routine".
It was later today when I realized how great it is..........that.......I don't get to solve it. She does. I listen in wonder every day at the stories that she tells me. The fun adventures that she, Travis and Cash are having. At the visuals that come to mind every time I imagine him eating blueberries fresh from the vine and the UPickEm field. I remember when Sharon, Robert's Mom, took Sara and I out to the strawberry patch in Miami.....she wasn't much older than Cash is now, and she came out of the field with the tell tale "ruby red lips" that affirmed what a great time we had.
I wish I remembered more of the every day happenings with you Sara. I want to close my eyes and be back on that swing set where you lost you little red necklace. I want to be standing alongside you the first time you saw the 8' BigBird at the mall. I want to watch as your Dad pushed you along on your bike, or helped you up on the horse. I long for the hours when I could just walk in and stare at you sleeping. But here is what I realized this morning, I am remembering them, it is just through your eyes with Cash. And you know what, it's a pretty awesome place to be. I love you sweetheart, you are a wonderful, amazing Mom.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Happy Birthday Cash!
Did this year go by fast or what?? Amazing.
I was trying to remember the first years of my own children. Long time ago.. Once I got over the awe of seeing what Butch & I had created (which took about 3 months) I remember that year as being so much fun. All the things that we take for granted, a child is seeing for the first time. The first time they see themselves in the mirror.. it was either Genevieve or Evelyn, I would have to drag out the photo albums to be sure, but she was so taken with her image. I had a full length mirror that rested on the floor. She would crawl over to it and play with herself. Just like having a twin. It kept her entertained for hours.
And the excitement at every milestone. The push-up, the sit-up, rolling over, the crawl (how they crawl), the first step. Wow, I am sweating just writing about all that exercise.
Then there is the feeding. I love to see the expressions babies make when they taste all the varieties of food we have to offer. They may pucker and spit up but they always seem to open wide for the next serving. How trusting is that!
The first tooth, the first haircut, the first word, the first laugh, OMG there is nothing better in the world than baby laughter.
Sara, you have been so blessed to be able to spend this entire year with Cash. So many parents don't even have the chance to debate this issue, it is back to work for necessity.
I would love to see the year in review posted on the blog.
I think the first year is just that - firsts. Mother and child both living thru all these firsts. And both, hopefully, experiencing the firsts, with joy and awe. Did you lay on the floor with Cash and watch the world with him? I remember laying with Genevieve and watching the cat walk toward us down the hall, imagining I had never seen such a site. My mind created a little fearful moment, but when I looked at Genevieve she was all puckered up with "man, can't wait to touch that THING!" excitement, that I had to laugh and realize life is good, it is really truly good, when our hearts are full of nothing but love.
No presents from me - just a Birthday Blessing - May year two be full of love, health, joy and laughter. Lots of baby laughter.
Love ya, Charmaine
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Deep Thoughts
Hi everyone,
It's 1am and I am still wide awake. I got used to going to sleep at 3 or 4am New Orleans time when I was with Kyle and I'm still haven't gotten myself adjusted...
In these hours of being up when the world is slumbering, I am having delicious thoughts and memories. One that had me laughing was the old SNL skit - Deep Thougths by Jack Handey. Do you remember that? I found a web page that has them written down. Here are my favorites:
~Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear your partner has been turned into Dracula. Next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! You just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, 'Think again, batman.'" Jack Handey
~If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic. Jack Handey
Check out the website: http://www.some-guy.com/quotes/handey.html
Read them all and imagine Phil Hartman's voice saying them in that super serious dead pan tone of voice. I got the good, deep down giggles. :) Or maybe I'm just delirious from being up so late.
Love you,
Genevieve
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
I've Been Incarcerated
http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/RianaReynolds
HELP! A warrant for my arrest has been issued by the March of Dimes for aiding and abetting the fight against prematurity.
I have been found GUILTY of wanting every baby to be born full-term and healthy! To avoid doing hard time for my crimes I must raise my bail quickly. YOU CAN HELP bail me out � or contribute to my incarceration. To learn more about how your dollars are helping to fight prematurity and save babies� lives visit the March of Dimes at www.marchofdimes.com.
If you or someone you know has had a child born prematurely or with birth defects, or who has lost a child, encourage them to visit a special site for families at www.shareyourstory.org.
My personal web page address for donations is ...
http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/RianaReynolds
Our mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.
Click Now to sponsor me for Jail & Bail!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Roses
My grandparent's 60th anniversary is coming in June and I wanted to get them something special. Do you have the 60th Anniversary Rose at the Flower Tree? I'd like to plant one for them in their rose garden as a suprise. Thanks.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
William Wordsworth
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sacred Mother
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Recipes to Come Home To
I wanted to share this awesome mac & cheese recipe. This is a new staple in our house; no more blue box! A real comfort food. I used two 4 oz ham steaks, one just wasn't enough.
ps You can find Fontina cheese in the deli section. I had to ask.
Macaroni and Cheese
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
See this recipe on air Friday May. 02 at 4:30 PM ET/PT.
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Pasta Potluck
Butter, for greasing dish
12 ounces wide egg noodles
2 cups heavy cream
2 1/2 cups whole milk
2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt, plus more for pasta water
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 cups (packed) grated Fontina
3/4 cup (packed) finely grated Parmesan
3/4 cup (packed) grated mozzarella
4 ounces cooked ham, diced, optional
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
Butter a 13 by 9-inch glass baking dish and set aside. Cook the noodles in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but still firm to bite, stirring frequently, about 5 minutes. Drain well, but do not rinse. Whisk the cream, milk, flour, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and pepper in large bowl to blend. Stir in 1 cup Fontina, 1/2 cup Parmesan, 1/2 cup mozzarella, ham, if using, and parsley. Add the noodles and toss to coat. Transfer the noodle mixture to the prepared baking dish. Toss the remaining 1 cup Fontina, 1/4 cup Parmesan, and 1/4 cup mozzarella in a small bowl to blend. Sprinkle the cheese mixture over the noodle mixture. Bake until the sauce bubbles and the cheese melts and begins to brown on top, about 20 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Quiche request for Lori :o)
A couple years ago Travis and I joined Lynn and Lori for the most delicious quiche one afternoon. It was SO delicious that we have remembered it even years later! Lori, if you read this will you please post the recipe or maybe Sarah can get it? I really want to try it out myself!
Your Child's First Teacher
When I saw the title to the book Sara had read, You Are Your Child's First Teacher, it stuck in my head, following me about the house while I did my morning routine.
I recall reading one book about childrearing, probably because it was the only one out there. I can't recall its title but it was the standard. Susan will undoubtedly come up with it. But I didn't have to worry, I had my mother, my aunt, my sister, my sister-in-law, my best friend, my mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, living nearby, all of whom were ready for advice, suggestions and just to give me stories so I would know what I was going thru was normal. I knew what kind of child I did not want to raise, the brat we always see in department stores, or sit next to in crowded places. Thinking that would be easy was my first mistake.
Seeing my children now at 28, 24, 19 years of age, I am amazed at who they are. I was not a perfect mother. I did not have a perfect home. There was dust on the counters for the kids to write their names in, dirty dishes in the sink. They witnessed screaming fights between their parents. They heard cuss words that would rival anything you hear on HBO. And they survived.
I never really thought of myself as my child's first teacher, although I knew I was. The best thing I did was I taught my children phonics as I wanted to make sure they knew how to read and I was certain the school system was inadequate in that regard. My theory has always been if you can read, you can do - learn, anything. And I always made sure I was honest with my kids. If they asked me a question, I would answer it. Truthfully. If I didn't know the answer, I would find out. This means being ready to talk to your child about sex when they are as young as 6 years old. When they ask the question, you have to have an answer. If you don't, you will soon learn they will go somewhere else for their answers and that is NOT a good thing for them to be doing.
Having that book title with me this morning made me think a new book should written.
Your Child Will Become Your Best Teacher
This would be my advice to mothers. Relax and learn all that you can from your baby. You are obviously a wonderful person. Look at who you are. You are smart, have graduated from school, worked at jobs, know what you love and don't love, played sports, found a mate, you know what makes you happy, unhappy, you are functioning well in this world.
You have a baby. Watch how your baby reacts to the world. See what the baby smiles at, what catches his attention. See what makes him cry. Notice how his digestion works. See the world thru his eyes. This will give you a new prospective on your own life.
As he grows, listen to what he says, and ask what he thinks about things. Life is new and fresh to him. The words he speaks come straight from the heart, a quality that we tend to lose as we grow older. He can see joy in things that we have stopped even recognizing.
I know parents worry if they are doing the right thing and want better things for their child than they had in life. But this is my belief.
My child picked me.
True, I made the decision to have the child, but the child I got picked ME. For whatever reason, Butch and I had all the qualities and knowledge this child needed to fulfill their destiny. That thought in itself took a lot of pressure off my mind.
Since they picked you, you know you have what it takes to help them become who they need to be.
Now you can focus on what they came here to teach you. This is the fun part. Open your heart, let the love in and the teaching begin.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Great Movie
If you haven't already, please treat yourself to Into the Wild. Travis and I watched it last night and both really liked it. I had wanted to read the book but Netflix was too quick. I think I'll read it anyway. I am searching for the same escape and I am just a bit jealous of Alexander Supertramp.
Friday, April 11, 2008
It's a great day to be alive!
I know the sun's still shinin' when I close my eyes
There's some hard times in the neighborhood
But why can't every day be just this good?
Spring is here and so were my parents! Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure:
Not such a short stack of Cash anymore!
Ahhhhh.... the family!
The only way we could all be making the same face. It was Cash's idea :o)
Cookies I invented that you HAVE to try! :
| The "Good Stuff" cookie |  |
| Submitted by: Sara | Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 15-20 minu | Ready In: 0 Yields: 24 servings |
| 1.5 sticks of butter softened 1 cup Splenda, 0.5 cup brown sugar, 2 eggs, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1.75 cups whole grain flour, .25 cup wheat germ, | .25 cup oatmeal 1 tsp baking soda .5 tsp salt .5 cup shredded coconut .5 cup mini chocolate chips .5 cup raisins |
| 1. | mix butter, splenda, brown sugar and vanilla in mixer |
| 2. | add eggs one at a time blending well after each egg |
| 3. | add raisins |
| 4. | add oatmeal |
| 5. | add wheat germ |
| 6. | in large bowl mix flour, salt and baking soda together |
| 7. | add flour mixture to butter/sugar mixture in mixer bowl |
| 8. | blend well |
| 9. | add chocolate chips and coconut |
| 10. | spoon onto greased cookie sheets |
| 11. | bake at 350 for 15-18 minutes or until golden |
| Recipe Submission from Sara | Printed from Allrecipes.com 4/11/2008 |
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Your Life
Here's how to view every decision you've ever made: It was right.
Here's how to view every path you've ever chosen: It was right.
Here's how to view every trend, friend, and dance you've ever moved with: They were right.
And here's how to view the fact that you even exist at all: "I" am totally on fire.
The Universe
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Endings or Beginnings??
"God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies...." Eat, Pray, Love
I love how the universe works. Leap and the net appears.
I had a long talk with Bree today. She has been struggling with the opportunity Mike has to work in Canada. Within days she gets told that the lease will not be renewed on her shop, there is space for her and Trish at a new shop opening on Williams Ave, things are just a popping, all in a new direction. How exciting for her! An end to Bella Sorellas, which is sad, but what an opportunity is opening up for her and her family. Good things for good people.
Something has to go for something better to show itself.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Making a memory.....one at a time
Today was one of those "make a memory" days. It wasn't that anything special happened, it wasn't that anything was out of the ordinary. It was just a day that started at about 6am and at 6pm, is now just starting to wind down. Sara, Cash and I had a day out together. We headed over to his eye doctor appointment in Brunswick at 10am, and after being told that everything was aok, his lazy eye has corrected itself, we walked over to Maine Street with a light drizzle of rain, and went to my new favorite store, Morning Glory Natural Foods. Housed in an old gorgeous storefront, wooden floors, curved wood banister leading you to the clothing area upstairs ~ Now this store has everything, and I mean everything. Organic wines, foods of every kind, all the homeopathic oils and potions that Charma has to go to Reno for, books of every variety, organic cotton clothing, and on and on and on. I know that we are getting a new Whole Foods in Reno, but I would take this store over it every day of the week. This place has CHARACTER! It took us almost an hour just to wander through the aisles, Cash tucked into his stroller enjoying all the interaction with all the other happy shoppers. We gathered all our choices and paid for them, and after taking a few pictures in the wine department ~great ideas~ we headed out the door. Back out into the now light snow, we headed on down the cobblestones to a shop that Robert and I had visited at Christmas time. Those of you in my generation will relate to this, but some of you might not remember a true "five & dime" store. Aisle after aisle of treasures, including new clothes...nice ones!... we decided to head downstairs to see what was down there, and the only way to get the stroller down was in an elevator.......where was the elevator???? old wooden stairs down the center of the building, we look and there is the elevator, a BOX of clear Plexiglas, with a small door.......and a "lift" lever. We settled the two of them in, and I headed down the stairs, camera in hand of course.........when we hit the bottom floor our eyes lighted on a toy that Robert had been looking for at all the toy stores in town to no avail......a Fisher Price Popcorn Popper walking toy for Cash, new material for Sara to make cloth bags to take her groceries home in, adorable new kitchen curtains with daises the same color yellow as her old aluminum table, and socks...socks...socks.....BassTahoe style for .99 each! They headed back up the elevator, I on the stairs, and off we went to lunch. Deli Style at the The Big Top, we enjoyed great sandwiches with Cash in the high chair, my how that turns "eating out" back to a pleasurable event with a little one.....there was a little girl, about 13 months I think her Mom said, right next to us, and she and Cash talked and talked together all through lunch. We finished up and headed over to the base to take Travis a sandwich, he was working through lunch to try and get off early to head back home to see Bob to work on their journey across the country planned for this spring, and then we set the car for Freeport and LLBean world. A light snow still falling, we journeyed down the back roads marveling at all the huge old houses, wrapped in white, the true New England experience spread out in front of us in all it's glory. We got to Freeport and hit the Flying Pig Bread Company for some chocolate bread for Travis and Robert's breakfast, then we walked the streets , had a coffee, bought me some great new, stylish I am told by Sara, clothes. We maneuver ourselves through the stores with Cash on Sara's back. Boy, they didn't make backpacks like this for us......his pack even has a rain guard! dry and comfy, he enjoyed the afternoon cruise.
On the way back home we took the scenic route. Cash napping so well in the back that we wanted him to get his full nap out of the way. We stopped in Lewiston on the way home so I could wander through a cathedral that had caught my eye, then on back to the house to gather with the boys. We have cheesecake in the oven, 1950's style because the previous tenants had left an old Betty Crocker cookbook in the cupboard and we decided to try it, taco's for dinner, and oh yeah, gin & tonic on the table beside me. Cash has had his bath and is tucked into his jammies ready for bed, Travis and Robert in the kitchen making dinner.........yeah..............we're "making a memory"
luvyasu.
Friday, March 28, 2008
The Burning
I entered one of our storage buildings last week. It used to be a bunk house for the extra hand that was needed around the farm during hay season, or maybe during calving. Anyway, today it is a storage shed. I know if I spend the time to go thru some of the many boxes scattered around the room that I could get rid of most of what is in there. So I begin.
Along one wall is box after box of Evelyn's things. Time capsules of her high schools years. Well, I can't deal with any of these, Evelyn has to go thru them and decide to keep or toss. And so it went, me circling, opening, peeking, and eventually putting everything back in a little more organized manner.. Until I found a couple of boxes that were in pretty bad shape.
One contained stuffed animals, which will clean up and go to good will.
The other contained paperback books. They had gotten wet, were warped and moldy, a real mess. As I hauled them outside, I thought, I'll just burn the box with the weeds and leaves. So I built a little bonfire.
Now I looked thru the books, mysteries, romance, adventure, nothing worth getting upset over - and they truly were trashed. However, that did not make watching them burn any easier.
My mind flashed back to every story I have ever read or movie seen about book burning over the ages.
First I was hit with waves of sadness. Books do not want to be burned. They hold themselves tight, refusing to let the fire touch their words. Ever so slowly they begin to succumb to the heat, curling up at the ends, getting black and charred around the edges. They do not want to burn. I was not prepared to witness this slow death. I wanted to rush in and rescue them, apologize for lighting the match. What was I thinking?!?!
Instead, I forced myself to stir the fire, breaking open the books, letting the fire get deeper into the words. Entire pages were lifted into the heat-fueled breeze, trying to escape the destruction. Even blackened I could still read the words on the pages, the type was refusing to be obliterated from sight. It looked as if the words had been pressed into those charred remains. Books do not want to be burned.
As I stirred the final embers, creating the last of the flames to consume the last of the pages, I was not prepared for the final feeling that engulfed me.
Freedom. A lightness and freedom surrounded me.
No one had to read these stories anymore. No one had to fill their brain with more words, and images, and thoughts, that were not their own. No more stories, real or imagined.
Was that the "fever" that took over as book burning consumed a nation? No more words, images, thoughts, that are not your own? I was consumed by the freedom of it for days. I did not want to read anything. Or watch tv. I just wanted to witness life first hand. To create my own words, images, thoughts. And it felt good. This book burning freedom.
It felt too good, and I didn't know how to share this feeling because somehow I thought that I shouldn't feel good about it.
So here I am, giving you the words, images and thoughts that are not your own, but are mine.
And it feels good.
And it feels right.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Maple Sugar Days
Each year Mainers celebrate the coming spring with tours of the sugar houses. Travis and I took Cash to Livermore about 30 minutes north of us to the Washburn-Norlands Living History Farm. We've had some weird weather here lately. I think it might be beautiful and maybe even 40 degrees outside if the wind wasn't blowing so hard. We lost shingles from our roof last night! The drive to the farm was nice. It wasn't too far away but far enough to feel like a day-trip somewhere. The farm sits at the end of a very bumpy road that has been freezing and thawing for who knows how long. When we finally crested the last hill we saw the steeple of the meeting house and the ranch behind it. We parked the car near the meeting house and bundled up for the freezing wind. A short walk led us to the main house and barn. Once inside the house we were greeted by volunteers dressed in period (early 19th cent) costume doing chores and preparing our breakfast. We were offered to sit in either a dining room or the big kitchen, both dine "family style". We chose the big kitchen and sat with another couple near the stove. We had pancakes, sausage, and maple syrup all made right there on the farm. Of course, there are no modern appliances on premises. They cooked our cakes on a wood fired stove and I think that made them extra good! After breakfast we walked to the gift shop but didn't find anything we really HAD to have. Next was the barn, the highlight of Travis and Cash's day! The first animal we saw was a giant ox butt! Huge! This thing's behind was taller than me! The picture doesn't do it justice, this thing was massive!
Here is the front version: 
Cash really didn't know what to think about this thing. He's never seen anything bigger than Rosie before. 
Moving down the line we found a baby cow and her
Mama who liked to give kisses :o)
Next came this GIGANTIC porker! She must have been close to 700 pounds and full of love! When we turned the corner near her pen she perked up and walked over to us to say hello. We gave her a scratch on the ear and Travis had a little conversation with her. He would snort and she would snort right back at him. Hey were telling secrets :o) And yes, Travis IS growing a mustache, hehehehe
Cash was REALLY weirded out by the pig, as you can see! hehehehe
The mustache: we're very proud
Last stop, SHEEP! Covered in poo of course. Cash really liked the sheep. In this picture he is doing his impersonation of the sheep:
This is the library on the farm. The family had 7 children. Out of those seven, five became politicians, all 7 including the 2 girls had baccalaureate's degrees from Bowdoin College which was unheard of at the time and one went on to found Gold Medal Flour. The library houses records from Daniel Webster of the dictionary fame (a close friend of the Washburn's), U.S. Grant, Lincoln, numerous novels published by the children of the family and very old books of all subjects. We didn't get to go in but I'm hoping to return in the summer time to see it! My favorite! The house in the background is the farm house.
We also visited the schoolhouse which is where the previous picture was taken. The single room sat 20 students in desks but also included benches around all walls for up to 40 scholars. We had a lesson in penmanship from Miss Rose. The woman playing Miss Rose fully immersed herself in the time and character. Our class took place on March 22, 1856. We were reprimanded for not sitting up straight, Travis was scolded for not removing his hat, even little Cash spoke out of turn and got a dirty look! It was tons of fun. She ruled our class with a giant stick and wasn't afraid to use it! We learned to write with quill and ink, much harder than I could ever imagine and I was terrible at it! After that we headed home. It was a great day and I can't wait to return to the farm in the summer. I'm sure it is absolutely stunning in all its green glory.
Finally, here is Cash playing under the table. He is quite the explorer these days:
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
My quote for today, everyday.
I see this quote on a band of silver that wraps my wrist. Some days as I read it, it whirls around inside my head like the leaves caught in a storm, and on others it just ever so briefly fills me with a little joy, a vision of hummingbirds on my summer perennials outside. Over the last four years since it was given to me I have thought many many times on why this quote is so profound in my eyes. At different times of course it affects me in different ways, but the thoughts that always are there are this: It seems so simple, and yet it is so easy to lose sight of it sometimes. It really doesn't matter what yesterday brought. It is gone and there is no going back, and we can neither predict nor change what is going to happen tomorrow. But these same points of history and future are what makes us who we are inside. What lies within us is brought on by the strength of how we handled the past, and by the visions we have for our future. Some days it may mean simply to just get through the day, and that’s ok! Some days it will mean taking those lessons of the past and using those as blocks of foundation to create a masterpiece. What lies within us.........................all the hopes and dreams for the future, all the love and history of the past. What lies within us is us. Beautiful women to be sure.
Tomorrow, as we celebrate the Vernal Equinox, I hope that every one of us near and far can take the time to put our "within us" thoughts to paper. What do we really really want with our lives.........and how can we use the power of "what lies within us" to make it happen. Near and far, under the full moon of March, the balance point of day and night, let us find our own balance. I wish you all a Happy Spring, filled with love, light and laughter. luvyaSu.
Monday, March 17, 2008
King Corn : Around The Community
I saw this today and thought it might be of interest interest: http://www.unr.edu/events/default.asp?id=13390
Mothers ~ Daughters ~ Sisters
We settle into the car for the drive to Reno, Mike's Mom Jan and Shelley in the front seat, me in the back...we were on our way to a big day in the life of the future Mrs. Shelley Ferguson-Kelly. It is lightly snowing as we head out of town, but the sun is peaking through the clouds. We arrived at the rendezvous location for lunch with everyone, Dandelion Cafe', an
d saw the "Closed on Sat/Sun" sign posted on the door. So we waited for everyone else to arrive and then headed a few blocks over to PJ's instead. By the time we were seated we are now 8. Shelley, her Mom Wendy, sister Amanda, future sister-in-law Lauren, future sister-in-law Toby, her daughter 8year old Kayla and myself. We had a great lunch, with incredible carrot cake, thanks to Amanda who thought to ask "do you guys have a
ny dessert?", and fueled up and satisfied we headed off for Shelley's scheduled appointment at David's Bridal.
they assign us a 'Bridal Consultant'. We head for the shoe department, first stop before dresses, so that she can pick out the heel height of what she will be wearing. All of us have our comments to assist her........'remember it is going to be in grass', ' you don't want a spiky heel do you', 'those don't look very comfortable' , 'are you sure you don't just want flip flops' and Shelley takes it all in stride, she has already made up her mind, but let's us all join in......and manages to keep a smile the whole time.
d to worry about us having so many people, seems like the other two women trying on dresses have as many people with them, if not more. 
, our consultant, and the color is Champagne! Bubbly filled with enthusiasm and just the right amount of elegance and spark ~ Just like Shelley! The dress is covered in beads of silver and taupe and a silky bow gathers it all in the back. Next comes the veil and tiara, and we all prance around her like the fairy maiden assistants we are, she is overwhelmingly beautiful. Everyone agrees, this is the dress..........we all love it, but that is only a very small part of what is important as you all know.............Shelley loves it........and that is the key. She is glowing. Shelley, our slightly shy and reserved on the outside, incredibly vivacious ~ funny ~ loving ~ intelligent ~ sparkly~ sincere ~ women on the inside, has found her dress. She places the shoes she has chosen on to see how the heel works, and then we all just stand in awe. Camera's snapping, total strangers commenting how beautiful she looks, we are comparing the color swatches that Amanda has been creatively designing her invitations with alongside to see if they match well, yes..........it is another ahhhhh moment. Looking back now I see us as the birds that swirl around the princess in the Disney movies, tying the bow, fixing her hair, primping ~ primping ~ primping.
essage reads, Missed Mike, then the other phone rings, Jan answers, by now I am up taking more pics, and Jan says, "It is Mike, and he says he has something really important to tell you" She takes the phone from Jan, and withing seconds her face lights up, slight tears in her eyes.........."I've been accepted" to grad school...the letter that is supposed to arrive in mid-April is in Mike's hands. More pics, more hugs, more congratulations all around.......