I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I am worth to the world. Of course we believe that we are all divine creatures and we all have so much worth but is that really the case. Stepping back and looking globally and viewing the big picture makes me really wonder. In actuality most of us are merely waiting to die. We are raising children in front of televisions, carting them off to day care, school, summer camp. Supposedly getting them away from us and into the hands of people we don’t even know will give them the tools they need to “succeed”. We work long hours, throw ourselves completely into what we think will eventually pay off so that we can enjoy the “remainder of our years” which can be as few as 5 for many of us. We invest in bad food, bad comedy, entertainment that starves the brain instead of fuel it. We read books written by people we deem smarter than us simply for being paid for what they write and are therefore able to teach us something when in all actuality it is usually nothing more than common sense that we lost when our parents carted us off to the day care, schools, or sat us in front of the television designed to make us universally appealing to the masses. The purchase of “self help” books has increased 300% in the past 15 years! 300%!!! These books don’t tell you ANYTHING you don’t already know! What are we looking to confirm for ourselves? We’ve turned ourselves into what we think the rest of society wants us to be. We go to work, make money, buy things. I’ve never really understood why. For as long as I can remember I’ve watched people get into their cars and drive to work for most of their day and not get anything back in return except for money. What good is that? I’ve never really understood it. We buy our used sub-compacts, 2000 square foot homes, enjoy dining and dancing (unless you live in Fallon :o) ), entertain guests, and use up 42% of the worlds resources. That’s right, 6% of the world’s population uses up 42% of the world’s resources. Hmmmm. Seems to me we are a parasite. So that makes me wonder why I’m feeding into this idea of the “American Dream” where we work and work and work for a few years and make enough money to stop working and enjoy the fruits of our labor, i.e. travel, expensive homes, new cars, expensive hobbies, oh yeah, and maybe we’ll donate some blood, give a few dollars to the homeless, or participate in a little bit of charity work; really to just give ourselves a little pat on the back or clear our subliminal conscience for all the waste we produce. Years ago, National Geographic (my Mom has been subscribing and saving these magazines since 1990) did an article on the global impact of humans and what would happen if we were destroyed. It’s really sickening to see that all of our “progress” has led to the destruction of the world. I vividly remember seeing artificially constructed pictures of what New York, Los Angeles, Paris, London, looked like before we started reproducing like mice 200 years ago. I felt sorry for what we have turned it into. Remember what your Mom always said, “Always leave it cleaner than you found it.” We haven’t done that. I know there is a huge “green” movement which has done a lot of good in the past few years but I really don’t think that it is addressing the root of the problem. Why have we been tricked into believing that consuming goods will make us happy? You may be thinking to yourself, ‘Yeah, whatever Sara. This is just the way life is. If I don’t work I can’t pay my bills, feed my children, make rent.’ but is that really the way it is or are we just not trying hard enough? Go ahead and call me a hypocrite here because I am well aware of where I stand and I will be the first to tell you that my lifestyle does not live up to what I want it to, but I’m trying. Every day I am trying to make it better. Did the rest of you who have passed on genes feel this way? Did you have an uncontrollable urge to totally change the world out of fear of what you would leave behind? I’ve always been raised to care about everything. I come from one of the most empathetic group of people to ever call themselves a family and I guess the hippie earth child genes do pass down to offspring :o) I just never really felt this scared of everything around me as I do now. Every day I look around my house and think of what I can do to make it better. When I look around I see stuff. Stuff that I do not need, use, appreciate, or care about. Why do I have it? I am a minimalist at heart yet I have all this CRAP! I am not a better person for having it and it doesn’t add to my life whatsoever. Yeah, you are all telling me I could just purge and it would make me happier. I’ve done that and the problem is that I can’t possibly purge enough. The things that are supposed to make me happy don’t anymore. I don’t care about the latest crap to buy or style to buy in to. This just isn’t living for me anymore. If it’s “living” for you, more power to you. Be happy, that’s what life’s about. I’ve just realized that everything that makes me happy is sitting right next to me. I have everything I need to live a life I’m proud of right here. I don’t need anything. I no longer want to believe that new clothes, new car, new furniture, new audio visual stimulation, new new new new new will make me happy. I’m just over it. It’s time for me to get back to life and stop taking. I want to turn my life into a legacy of giving. I’ve been given so much and it’s not mine to take. My goal for ten years from now is for all of you to be able to think of me and say, "Wow, she really did it."
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
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3 comments:
Sweetheart, you're speaking my language. I'm with you. I'm ready to make a change in this world. Let's do it.
I think I could look at you now, not 10 years from now, and say Yes...wow....she really did it.
You are such an old soul. Always have been, always will be. The kitten that needed a home, the child crying in the store that needed a smile. You provide these on a daily basis.
I think so many of us my age had these amazing feelings that we could change the world, make it a happier ~ more productive ~ more nourishing place to be.....and yes, then money got in the way. The need to have .. took the place of .. The need to be. As I enter this new decade, I can honestly say while I never truly lost sight of those original dreams, they certainly took a back seat for too many years. Now I am at the stage in my life that I am purging/purging/purging but for such differnat reasons. It sunk in a long time ago that we don't need all this stuff, but then the hidden emotion "memories" start to take hold and it is so hard to let go.
Don't lose sight of what you are doing in this universe. You are making it a much much better place, by being here.
and on a much much lighter note, guess this means you don't want all the milk glass and hammered aluminum :} luvya mom.
Welcome to the new consciousness. We are beings of light and love. And we all know lovers give. :) The search for happiness outside ourselves has never been successful. Things, new or used, may ease our way of life, but that is about it.
I had a grandmother who told me her only advice to us was to never bring another child into this world. She saw the world wars, the famines, the lack of care for the earth, and only saw the worst to come.
The moment I held Genevieve in my arms I was so thankful I never took her advice. I chose (choose) to see the possibilities in the world. And I am very excited to be living at this moment, when the consciousness of the people around me is shifting to love, instead of fear.
As I held each of my children, I realized that a child is the closest thing to God I will have the pleasure of seeing here on earth. As I played with my children, I realized the joy of just being. A child can laugh, smile and enjoy just about any situation they are in, as long as the parent doesn't freak out. There is a great freedom in watching a child grow, giving them the ability to be themselves. I think I learned more from my children than they did from me.
As I continue to watch my children grow, I have great hope for this world. And reading what you have written confirms my belief.
We are living at a time of great potential and what your generation decides to do will be monumental in history.
Give, and give big. It doesn't have to be money, or time. It can be a smile to a stranger, opening a door for someone, even silently sending love to a crying child in the supermarket changes the vibration in the world.
You can't force government to act responsibly but you can. If you can, your friend can, and your neighbor, and the person in your yoga class, and before you know it the government follows the people.
If you want peace, be peace. If you want happiness, be happiness. If you want misery, be fearful.
Will someone please get me off my pedestal.....
Love you.
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