Daily Om's Thought for the Day

Every once and awhile I feel the need to share these daily postings that I get by email every morning. This one especially hit home as I am scrambling in so many directions to get the new store up and going. Had a great meeting today with the owners of the building we are leasing, and while we still have 3 weeks before we can even get in there, we are shooting for a Nov 7th opening. Got home and read this after a very busy busy day. I am posting it here so that I re-visit it often in the weeks to come. It is my yoga practice that seems to keep me centered, and reading at night. Since I only get to yoga 2x a week, but read every morning and night, I am going to slowly........................work up to a daily practice at home. The turtle, long a symbol of wonder/respect/love in many of our lives will need to visit me more often. Ok, Charma, now I know why you keep so many of them on your dashboard.......a visual reminder....to slow down and enjoy! I would love it if you all shared with me your ways to slow down.............and go at a snail's pace. luvyaallsu.

September 24, 2008

Enjoying a Snail’s Pace, Doing Things Slowly

Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal. Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive. Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.

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I love you, dear one. I am always with you. No matter what, I will never stop loving you. No matter what, I will never leave you.

You are loveable just exactly as you are, in all your unfinished imperfectness.

Even though you may not feel it to be so right now, you are a growing radiant being doing the very best you can in this very moment.

It’s good to let yourself feel all your feelings, they will heal you.

It’s good to let yourself pay attention to what your feelings and your body are telling you...even and especially when they are contradicting your thoughts…your feelings and your body are always telling you your truth.

It’s good to let yourself go slowly.

It’s good to let yourself say, "no, this doesn’t feel right for me," …even when you can’t explain why.

It’s good to let yourself be really gentle with yourself.

It’s good to let yourself do what you need to do to take the very best care of yourself that you can…even when others may be disappointed with your choices.

It’s good to let yourself be kind and soft with yourself when you feel afraid…even when there "really " isn’t anything to be afraid of.

It’s good to let yourself cry when you feel sad or frustrated.

It’s good let yourself stomp and fuss when you feel angry or put-upon.

It’s good to let yourself stop and rest when you feel tired or confused.

It’s good to let yourself curl up under the covers when you feel afraid or overwhelmed.

It’s good to let yourself know and ask for what you want…even when you think you may not get it after all.

It’s good to let yourself be exactly how and where you are…even when you aren’t sure anyone else will like that!

It’s good to let yourself just be!

Part 2

Part 2…………..Sorry, this became way to long for a comment screen……..In answer to your post Sara…..
This issue becomes a heavy one whether you intend it to or not. Over the course of the last 100 years, the only ones that I can ever seem to remember my history on, women have been placed into certain roles that society has built for them. Do I think that Sarah Plain was a good choice for him, yep, probably. It was exactly what he needed to stir up enough controversy to get the voice of comments of the country moving in his direction. Good or bad, it is moving. Do I think she is the right choice for our country…no. But that is my opinion. I really do not care if she moved into the White House with 10 children in tow. I think that there would be so much assistance handed to her that her children would probably not only be just fine, but thrive. What I do care about is her politics, her stand on the environment, her views on government subsidies etc etc etc. And on those I just can’t agree. Do I think she is a hell of a speaker that appears to have been through at least fifteen Rapport sessions, you betcha! She can rally a crowd, of that there is no doubt.
So onto the Motherhood debate. There is no right or wrong when it comes to staying home with your young child. What I hoped that our generation did was gave women the right to choice, in many ways. As each tree is a different seed, so are we, and how we choose to live our lives, and raise our children is ours alone. That is what makes our “tribes” so important. Having a stand-by network of family and friends so that if we do choose to work outside the home, we hopefully have some assistance. We are the nurturers, and as such , we are the role models of peace in most homes.
I had an interesting conversation with Marlea today. We were talking about the new store and how it was going to have my head spinning down Williams Ave. before we got it all up and running. I asked her if she was ready to buy The Flower Tree from me in a few years……….and this is how the summary of the conversation went……
She was happy that we are opening the new store, and she truly feels that we can handle both with no problem because with eight years under our belts we are pretty comfortable with how it’s done. Now here is the kicker that made my heart sing, a little. She said that no, she wouldn’t be ready to buy any business or try anything different until Maddy was out of school, because the “freedom and flexibility” that she has had during her entire years of school has been a huge help and comfort to her. It was at that moment that I told her that I would make it my goal to keep The Flower Tree for at least five more years, until Maddy was out of High School and then we would see. Of course, she told me not think that way, just for her. But I realized I wasn’t thinking that way just for her, but for me too. For she is part of my tribe.
So I said all that, to say this………..we have an obligation to each other to encourage the goals, dreams, aspirations and wishes of those closest to us. Someone encouraged Sarah Palin to run for the 2nd highest office in the world …….and more power to her if she thinks she is up to the task. She just isn’t my choice. But I still respect her right to try. I feel it is our obligation to greet a “stay at home” Mom in a store with an encouragement rather than a question such as you got Sara, and to make it a point to also encourage the Mom that is working outside the home……..it is a tough choice EITHER WAY…..you always….always wonder if you made the right one. It does not matter if your child is 1 or 30 or 50 - you always wonder. I love you all, Su.

Cute Video

Sometimes you just have to ask yourself 'Will I live to be 80?'

I recently chose a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly
well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'
'No,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating,
fishing or relaxing on the beach?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'
Then he looked at me and asked, 'Then why do you give a shit?'

Ohh Baby...

I was in an interesting conversation yesterday with another stay at home mom. She's a good friend of mine so we don't mind sharing political views among other personal decisions. Of course both of us had something to say about Sarah Palin. It was unfortunate that neither of us had anything good to say because I have always tried to find ONE nice thing to say. I couldn't even compliment Sarah on her hair... I'm sure she's a very nice woman. I imagine I would warmly welcome her into my social circle should she desire to knit, tie dye, bake, read, and hike as we SAHM up here in Maine do. The conversation turned toward the opinions many people have over stay-at-home-moms. Both of us have experienced various responses when people meet us and ask what we do. Usually I reply, "I stay at home with my son, Cash." Almost every response to that statement is, "Ohhh. What did you used to do?" as though it must have been more important than what I am doing now. My friend and I have both come to the conclusion that while being a stay at home mom was once the norm it is now looked at as something you do for one of three reasons: a) you are spoiled and your husband must have a REALLY cush job, b) you have no skills so you stay at home and get pregnant to fill your day, c) you're "one of those" femmes that chooses to stay at home to stick it to the man because it's your right to choose. Obviously none of those reasons were factored into my decision to stay with Cash. It was just something that was more important to me than anything else so I made it happen. Had I been lucky enough to live near family who could take Cash a few days a week I would absolutely been back to work by now. Since that's not an option and I refuse to let strangers teach Cash their ideas during his most impressionable years I choose to stay at home. It works for us. It's as simple as that.
While this conversation was turning we noticed that every generation tends to do the opposite of the last. My great grandmothers fought for equality in the workplace and wanted to work alongside the men; my grandmother's generation typically wanted to stay at home and raise a family; my mother's generation fought for equality in the workplace and finally broke through the glass ceiling that was the early 80's yet also pulled together the family like none other; my generation looks to stay at home and make the raising of children the top priority (this is simply the observation we came to, you're entitled to your opinion). So we have a flip flop of generations and ALSO conservatives and liberals.
Now I can get back to Sarah Palin. The arguement recently from the conservatives who are usually the largest stay-at-home-motherhood advocates are saying that Sarah Palin's role as a mother in no way hampers her ability to lead the country. My liberal friends who are usually the group standing behind a woman wanting to "do it all" in the home and workplace are shouting war cries about Palin's ability to care for her special needs child as well as a child carrying a child (Hello! Someone should have had the seat-belt talk in the Palin household!) while she steps up to help govern the best nation in the world. Anyone else confused here?

My question to all of us here for a light debate is this:

Where do we draw the line with the importance of family and duty to our work? Is she less suited for the presidency because she has a large family that will obviously need her?

More power to her for even trying. I couldn't even make an appointment to have my hair done when Cash was 4 months old; the Vice-Presidency would have been seriously out of the question!

Nap Time

I had a wonderful conversation with my beautiful daughter on the way to the store today. We were just chatting about this or that, nothing of any great worldly significance, and she happened to mention that Cash has decided that he doesn't need his second nap anymore. I had a flashback, which seems to occur more often as we count the months of Cash's fun time in the world. I could picture Sara standing up in her crib in the glass walled Florida room that she called her own, with a look on her face that told me "I don't REALLY!!! think I need a nap anymore" She must have been about 14 or 16 months old at the time. The problem is, I just can't remember how we solved the "nap routine".

It was later today when I realized how great it is..........that.......I don't get to solve it. She does. I listen in wonder every day at the stories that she tells me. The fun adventures that she, Travis and Cash are having. At the visuals that come to mind every time I imagine him eating blueberries fresh from the vine and the UPickEm field. I remember when Sharon, Robert's Mom, took Sara and I out to the strawberry patch in Miami.....she wasn't much older than Cash is now, and she came out of the field with the tell tale "ruby red lips" that affirmed what a great time we had.

I wish I remembered more of the every day happenings with you Sara. I want to close my eyes and be back on that swing set where you lost you little red necklace. I want to be standing alongside you the first time you saw the 8' BigBird at the mall. I want to watch as your Dad pushed you along on your bike, or helped you up on the horse. I long for the hours when I could just walk in and stare at you sleeping. But here is what I realized this morning, I am remembering them, it is just through your eyes with Cash. And you know what, it's a pretty awesome place to be. I love you sweetheart, you are a wonderful, amazing Mom.